All about Whitewater: More Poetry

Photonic Dreams

What's that?! He's been dreaming again-

not working with other things to do

Because his mind is racing with intoxicating and enchanting thoughts of who?

But the screen shining, blankly is flickering or is it winking

Like a changeling temptress of whom he's been thinking

Imagining it's keys pipeline to her mind - flowing and caressing a

nd mystically winds his thoughts to her door

That light box could be a window to her soul

One great eye into which they may both fall - limitless falling

Oh grant him that he shall never land

How can this mechanical thing perversely link him to her?

Indelibly marked by memories or are these just dreams too?

He knows why, and remembers how

one evening what shone was moonlight

which mingled with his keyboard friend,

there upon them casting shadows of light and dark,

good and bad,

right or wrong

with winged spectral harpists whispering

then urging them to go on

And finally moving into the light which beckoned -

then surrounded them with the warm glow of friends -

faces gone but hearts remaining

a blissful union there - for ever more - until the end

His machine has become a mental cue,

and a strange one at that

conjuring up such recollections by the video screen

he sits at

Drawn beyond the light now

into the darkness of Her room

washed with her scent upon the sheets

which further sealed the night

And there, coupled but not by the photonic chains of mail

that never stop

It seems, there was only their own essence

as they sailed away into his dreams

kayaky

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Patricia Maxine

I was there when she slipped away

quietly weeping I wondered what she thought

A shadow of the person that I knew lay before me

Yellow and weak, and bluster gone

Part of me went with her

And a piece of my heart is numbed by the loss

But life goes on

I was there when she slipped from us

The few who stayed to watch

And each of the last breaths she took tore at my soul

Those were my last breaths too

Anyone who has seen the face of death

Is afraid no more

But I never saw that face for I saw only you

And what I saw made me so afraid

That I was wasting time and filling days

without meaning until you showed me the way

Now not a day goes by

when I don't think of you

How I miss you so, my Patricia

kayaky

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Painful Voice

A smokey dive where dimly lit

a score of broken hearted sit

joined in song in chorus with a painful voice to voiceless hits

Loving, losing, leaving strains or songs

to mommas, trucks or trains

the DJ hurts with each refrain

ensconced in Karaoke pain

Too many beers and cigarettes,

Hearts brimming with the blues

Lives well lived not long but hard,

whose dreams not sweet

came true

From corner seat she reaches out

and penetrates the scene

drawing looks back to her booth,

how remarkable had it been

That woman's crying in the bar,

God knows she's been abused

Her voice as painful as it sounds and bleating out of tune

Cloistered small and shoulders hunched, battle worn and scarred

The painful voice and friend who sing are sharing with the bar

One note or phrase or whose to say

what captures distant thought

But when the moment seizes her

she gives it all she's got

No word is heard, no melody,

musicality's away barking recognition

with her memory all a haze

No one laughs at painful voice they've heard her song before

She's earned the right to sing that tune

and keep coming back for more

In smokey bar the crowd goes by,

each night they start anew

The painful voice that sings todayreturns in time for you

kayaky

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Not Friends

Once we were good friends but now we don't meet

We'd talk on for hours but now we don't speak

And candlelit dinners were eaten on the floor

But now I don't see you anymore

How did that all come to happen? That's not what good friends are for! So here I sit alone and forgotten Because we're not good friends anymore

Once I could call you and chat for a while It seemed there was nothing not said by and by and sometimes we'd sit and just watch the TV But now you won't even call me

I could come over and show you my thoughts Words that were writen but poetry not Still that was enough to sustain us my friend But now I feel this is the end

How did that all come to happen? That's not what good friends are for! So here I sit alone and forgotten Because we're not good friends anymore

kayaky

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Musical Sex

There they are - knife blade's chopping - clacking, slicing, snipping rythmically clipping

There they go - piston pump's pumping - snorkling, pocca pocketing and musically thumping Here they come - steam engine's steaming - chug chuggalug chugging

Are we really just like that? NO!

At least we try not to think so.

We make music panting, heaving, sighing and sometimes laughing and crying

But when cold humans come together, coldly, it is a prickly pot of mechanical parts and picks

So their vibrating tool is humming, clicking, whirring

Strangely satisfying, while buzzing and tantalizing

she with wet lips and fingers fools herself as she dreams on

and sooths herself too

And he no better plays it all by ear

beat - beat - beating Whap - whap - whapping and drum - drum - drumming

with his one good hand

Its a caccaphony of misery when playing in the one man band!

Then coming together again, moaning and groaning

Huffing and puffing, squeaking and shaking as they rattle and roll

Oh Momma! it is a symphony of ecstasy

as they play their song

Slurping and sucking as they are passionately fucking

Until symbols clashing their music is gone.

But somewhere in the distant hills

The memory of that melody echoes still

Like some catchy tun you can't turn off

compelling you to play it again and again

Since your first heard it in the distance or through the wall

in some small town

where a pickup group is apickin and agrinnin

or as a nifty little ditty in a disco city

and the beat goes on and on

kayaky

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Maple Dreams

Sitting on the doorstep of their neighbor's front porch Staring at the sunlight dappling through the maple leaves He was sitting by her, speaking words to guide her and he took her to his world - a land of make believe They didn't see tomorrow, forgot about yesterday all they needed was there and then, loving her, - he felt that way Running round were children some were his - some hers and the house where they lived seemed to bustle all the time Just like sun soaked tree leaves they were all so happy Red and gold were colours of the love he gave to her Circling round were memories just like the falling leaves And all the things they left behind were blown about by the breeze Singing songs and playing games where everybody knows their names Thats what they were thinking sitting on the front doorstep that day

kayaky

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Lonely but Not in Love

Emotions are responses to our love's profound attachements but happiness is only one of the possible reactions and loneliness may come along and sift between the cracks confusing us with feelings while disguised by cloak and hat

Do you recall the reasons when you thought you fell in love? Overcome with those emotions you weren't circumspect enough! We're hungry when we're lonely, and the souls who come our way are out there looking for us and they're feeling just the same

Its human feeling lonely, hoping loneliness will fade But little reason for a match if love could seize the day Had you understood your motives and entered with them known you'd have fallen into love but where there's feelings that you own

kayaky

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The Thin Grey Line

Outside ourselves's a thin grey line where sky and earth collide

where all around are questions and each choice hard to decide

Which way is up, and which is down for all we see is fog

each step is like a leap of faith and certainty's in shrouds

Out here's a place so distant its a no man's land of sorts

failing to provide a soul with means to chart one's course

But course is set in fool's gambit we race to meet our end

soaring through a starless soup 'lectronics understand

Then suddenly the sun bursts through and what a sight

that is wondrous glow and warmth engulfs with happiness and bliss

A little trust goes light years on our never ending trip

relinquish helm at times like these to fate or hidden grip

Will me home then silver wings entrusted love with thee

and if you fail to take me there I'll die more peacefully

Than had I simply stayed on ground and plodded day by day

Not wondering where path would wind where each bend was all I'd see

kayaky

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In the Zone

My head is numb and I cannot think

there's numbers racing round my eyes like rings

Bunch of people looking down on me

I'm too busy playing with my fucking strings

Time is flying by and days go too

Such a waste when I'm here with you

In the zone where nothings clear I can't see, but I can feel you breathe

Smell your scent, feel your heat I won't look at you - but I see your knees

In the zone, in deep freeze

Close enough to touch you and hear your heartbeat

Where are you, where are we?

We used to be people now we're history

My eyes are gone my face is white

Everything around me's such a fucking fright

Too many people, did we go to far?

Got on the bus and should have used my car

Swinging tubes gonna hurt my brain

Just a minute after I've gone insane

In the zone, I'm not free

Smell your body, feel your heat

Touch my skin, hear me breathe

Where are you, where are we?

kayaky

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Ideas

An idea passed my way and drifted through my mind

like wind blowing through a willow

it flowed through and changed me

then left me wondering how we'd be the same

until the ideas flowing aound us came through our windows

and into our souls

Changing our thoughts and bending our minds

blowing in like a hurricane and changing us forever

Like a childhood ravaged by adult notions

Or converts struck dumb by faith flowing in

like a summer breeze and toying with our emotions

before leaving ringing chords on our wind chimes

to remind us they've been and gone stealing in

like a thief in the night robbing us of our self confidence

we're left to wonder how we got here polarized, differentiated, ostrasizied

We who would be empty vessels half empty, and half full

Just cups of a different shape or colour

Until filled with our own heady but often foul brew of ideas

kayaky

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I think I'll like you

Yeah - I think I'll like you - that's not gonna be enough

Sure I'm looking at you - cause I know your nut is tough

Now you're looking past me but you're hoping I'm the one

Cause you're sick of looking past me and you want to have some fun

Come on, I wanna interest you baby

Maybe you'll be interesting too

I've been liking what I'm seeing

So whatcha gonna do?

Did you have something to say - well I've got something too

It's my life story and there's a page in it for you

Yeah - I think I'll like you - that's not gonna be enough

You'd better like me baby if you wanna fall in love

kayaky

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Henry Hyde

Henry Hyde had an affair years ago, its on the internet They're swirling rumours round him and they're not giving up as yet Its not important why he did it only that he did It doesn't matter who she was or what he felt or said We're not machines you switch on and off and urges never quit so acting on them weaving tangled webs of truth and lies. Lives continually getting flushed down a drain of piss and shit filled up with raw emotion into a heady brew of human waste in a never ending cycle>don't give it a second thought or you'll be torn to bits When love and lust fall in the mix people are ground to dust But they're never changed by the process their life is the catalyst I feel sorry for Henry Hyde his only mistake is that he had loved too well and perhaps too much>

kayaky

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Home

The aroma of fresh cookies filled our cosy yellow home

With Magnificent Chocolate Chips so much like Mom used to make,

that love was in the air

Vases adorned the table with roses and white lillies

Fresh and clean, vivid as only the present can be

Music wafted in from every corner

Lush piano bar music that dripped with sultry sounds

hinting of quieter times and hidden memories

Flickering at the hearth a warm and inviting fire,

blazing enough to warm the soul and toes

In that glow, the first kiss through the door was heaven on earth,

a blessing and a recompense for everything

that had ever come before or could possibly transpire

until the end of days

kayaky

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handwriting

Handwriting is a window into the soul watch how quickly it reflects the truth long after embellishment leaves the words and character remains The very ideas melting onto the page like a candle dripping etching and sometimes burning brightly flickering until out as if all thought had ended then suddenly as if sparked by some unseen force flickers yet again in darkness the light will shine like words piercing silence - words always words must be spoken to live and writen to endure

kayaky

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Grains of Sand

Up here the wind whips the thin air into a frenzy Grand Vistas sweep for no one but the Gods Rising up from nowhere reaching endlessly pushed relentlessly by inner fires the mountain kings shall yield

Their significance slips by unnoticed in the seamless reach of time like the endless wash of surf on grains of sand they are the beach and the shore defining continents

The slow motion ice tide comes in with its huge breakers crashing over the rocky coast Stripping every living thing every stubborn barnacle in their path

And the sky stays gray and dark, no blue is seen hidden by the dust of millenia churned up by accidental visitors from outer space Our sun, the alpha and the omega waits patiently for spring

Measured against these walls our heights are pitiful Red rocks and golden rays illuninate the highest spires and deepest canyons at dusk or dawn Down below the wash of ages rushes by carrying with it every rock and stone to meet their salty brothers by the sea

Deeper still the depths where no human ever stirred Darkness means nothing here its always dark until their grizzly headlights come and its in the crush of water, with the weight of the world on everything, everywhere in dead silence where life may begin again

kayaky

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Frost Returns

Along the boulevardes of spring I've walked And hand in hand felt warmth of sun and you Under the full and vernal orb we've talked With give and take found sweet caress too few

So many plans, have come and gone my dear My words seem pale compared to how I feel How could one say those words to you I fear Mocking sentimentality though real

But then come nights when the full moon will rise Frosted icing with me lies no longer You've turned from the wall and feigning surprise Requiring service of men I wonder

How we've lived and loved so deeply just then Will frost return to melt away again?

kayaky

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I Love My Friend and Wife

You must be me giving something because though we’ve never touched I look forward and see nothing and still I feel too much You just lift me up higher where air is fresh and rare and hours we pass will sometimes seem too hard for me to bear Oh – but what a feeling has come over me and when I think I’m going down I turn around and my heart has sung a different kind of song Its you that makes it play that tune, as one day we’ll meet again I’m just soaring – lifted up by seeing you – we’ll meet again – but when? Oh what’s that feeling that’s come over me? – when I think I’m rising high I turn around and then my mind just tells a different kind of lie “I’m only caught flat footed and broken by the loneliness of that day” Its not you that twists me turning in the wind when I see you’ve turned away “Don’t get too close!” love promised me but that promise was a lie Then I got close, too close for friends, and friendship surely died And friendship is, that after all, which made me want to stay But with those feelings haunting will they chase friendship away? She loves me, and I love she – there is no love triangle For I know love, I’ve loved before and this is my denial God strike me down for I have found a love I can rely on and if That’s the reason I can stay, then why am I still lying? And what kind of love is that my friend? When I can’t do without Your face, your voice, your gentle words that flow from lovely mouth? A curse be placed upon that love, its not what I had planned I did not ask to be in love, the Devil took my hand! If I’ve become an anecdote in a litany of men Those notches gone won’t soon return but I 'll still call you friend The world goes on and I must too, so I’ll face another day Infatuated with another,one a friend won’t turn away A different kind of love but far from love that stays Its born of distance once removed will finally dissipate Now I know its possible to love a friend and love will hold things true Who never touch, they’ll always hurt, good friends have heartaches too God gave me love and love I do, a fellow human being, just one Who got so close to me and all from just our meeting And those feelings within me? Don’t look! They’re locked and sealed. You’ll never open up that book, they’ll never be revealed It’s the price I pay and I live this way, we two will never be And what we have or might have had is not for us to see But love is good and I feel fine – I like what love has done! Each day those feelings transform me and create a new someone. An exhilarating rush of thoughts has changed my view of life I’m better now than I have been, I love both my friend and wife.

kayaky

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Food for thought

You are so far away but in my mind you're still here beside me

Its playing tricks with this lonely plebe While thinking is such nobility But you're so far away and though I remember, I still can't feel and though I dream ,

It just won't be and though I hope, I can't believe.

So will you think of this when next we meet? and treat my senses until I leave, so crossing the border I perceive You'll keep me safe and warm and in love with thee.

kayaky

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Fireballs in the Mirrors

Forget the past, your how now's and where for's!

Its always there Hour glass sand which knows no past, no where from

Still tumbles through time It leads us to this moment, one of possibilities

Though gone suddenly - its replaced Like fireballs in the mirrors of a setting sun

We'll see it again - tomorrow

Taking time, savouring life 'cause it won't last

Mountain tops look down on fleeting moments

But we'll have our present, filled with choices

Decisions made quickly then lived out

Like fire flies glowing in the deep summer night

They're thin points of light - on a lonely road

Out there who knows who's watching

Only, from a distance everything stands still

But we're on that road and we're moving on

Two wheels rolling, moving like the wind

There because of the past, and there for the present

The past's converging but ahead there's a thousand suns

And we'll take them on one by one

kayaky

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Finger Dance

Silver shadows danced while deft and dark they searched the shores of Rio

Fingers reached while breathing deeply - gliding seething snakes in halos

Burned temptations tips by titillation flared

the way the wind blows lower than the heady brew

It blew still kept where no one knows

Oh to break that sureal stillness and simpering wetness

Not filling ears with searing words or fumbling low caresses

Another place once yesterday urging hands or finger presses

electric moments forward to completion

In these dimly lit recesses

Better still than empty hours the solitary spark refreshes

empty souls from empty beds which time alone addresses

won’t waste away, another day in hopeless webs that blessed us

kayaky

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Evil Exes

Images incinerated in some candlelit ritual

Snarling names uttered in contempt by single gender covens

Inflicting pins and needles

They sinned, and were imperfect

Disloyal and unfaithful,

They lied, and they cheated

Now exe's to be vilified

Still fathers and mothers had them

but they were the worms

The scum of the earth

Harassing, pestering, foul filth

We ease the pangs of emotional detachment

from these hateful hurtful beings

That we once loved

kayaky

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Even More

Don't take me for granted I'm here for you now but that may not always be so Send me flowers, bring me chocolate, write me poetry and rub my feet and if you do then I will love you even more

Don't look over there when I am here for one day you'll turn and I'll be gone dote on me, praise me, touch my hair and hold me, just hold me and if you do then I will love you even more

Don't speak to her, don't dance with her when I am here and all alone for if you leave I might be gone on your return talk to me, touch me soul, and move with my spirit Just stay with me and if you do then I will love you even more

I'll hold you close and have your child I'll buy your clothes and send you smiles I'll warm your bed and ease your worried mind when times are tough and life gets bland I'll still be there to hold your hand Don't take me for granted, Don't gaze away, and I will love you even more

kayaky

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Devotion

This woman has feelings - this is no rag doll in his arms As he holds her close she clings on expecting safety from him not harm With a fragile heart which may be broken by a callous word of his if spoken And yes - made to sing with joy through simple kindness or affection What at first was shallow emotion is now moved by deeper devotion A woman that speaks through her every motion and in her eyes a greater ocean of vulnerability asking only "please take care with me" Such a responsibility he's accepted and done so honestly - and won't fail or disappoint

This woman has beauty - this is no dime store trinket that he holds Dark hair, pale skin and smile illuminating sky Wouldn't any man find her fair and seek her out or try to woo her given half a chance - and love her too on second glance Would see the beauty there entranced by the good mother and angel longing now for sweet romance

She has life - he feels her heart beating and senses each breath she's breathing sharing the same with he Can anyone say where this is leading or where they will go concerned more that somehow there by mistreating will someday break her heart In that evil deed - he'll take no part preferring that he would never start upon a path with her left to understand somehow why yet again she'd lost another man rather she's found instead a greater good and loving friend who'll stay with her and help her in any way he can

kayaky

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Dancing With You

I want to dance with you I want to watch your body move in time with mine Sweet locomotion, it's when I'm with you I feel so fine Can you feel the music the way I do? It's rippling down to my feet It's like I'm walking on air whenever we meet because I'm dancing with you

Way down there pulusates the beat It's sliding and pumping away in my veins Or is it just my heart pounding because I'm looking your way and I understand why being with you makes me a better man I feel alive, I'm in love and nothing else matters as long as you are in my arms and I'm dancing with you

You are a vision to me when you're spinning around and I see you toss your hair back So take me with you when you go - you just have to lead and I'll follow The lights have all gone down, can it be we're all alone? I can feel my skin tingle as you brush by and I'm so happy by your side Because I'm dancing with you

You're laughing and its a beautiful thing I'm holding you close, and without thinking I've started to sing - and why shouldn't I sing to the woman I love - who's in my arms The music has long since stopped but our melody keeps playing and I can't wait to get you home We won't need that band, its beautiful music we'll be making when I'm dancing with you tonight

My head is in the clouds, my feet are in the stars I love you woman its so plain to see Nothing is more important to me than to have you close Maybe we'll go out tonight Maybe turn up the heat tonight Forever things will be all right if we are Dancing together, you and me

kayaky

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Things I meant and could not say

You were overtaken by the day falling away ,

swept into deep rest until the morning

Where waking from some dream were pressured by the hour

and found No words from me to say how much I loved you

Simple words never weighed so much

On my heart or hung more heavily on my tongue

By day found their place in my work

Things I meant and could not say

For fear of losing myself in their power

things I should have said meant less not more that way

I had slipped between flannel sheets

In darkness, shadows freed from light

And laid against my one true love whose warmth against the bitter night

was refuge for my troubled mind No sweeter moment better shared

Though that truth could not be told

My eyes closed tight, world finally calm cocooned in warmth

with you that night no uttered words to wrong or overflow the cup

Of love so deep, which born of youth and ripened through time

had swadled us in that cradle of mine

Ever present and constant I feared

And held on tighter for

With the passing of years like a leap into blackness

like the darkness of that night headlong into the future

prayed you would always be there

No longer separate our lives entwined

Memories melded, history enshrined

More years together than apart

Perhaps that fear was just a dream

For you’d always been there for me

kayaky

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Chances Are

Chances are, you'll be laughing right out loud and thinking how we never had a prayer Telling all your friends you were just hoping it would end and trying not to let me down too hard

Chances are - I ll be staying up at night And watching nothing much on the TV Trying not to think of you and me and the way things used to be, or could have been

Chances are - we'll get on with our lives and how different after all could people be What attracted us was gone and the love's not coming on Just a moment like many others passed us by

Chances are the sun will rise again and birds will fill the air once more with song But your voice will not be heard and my heart will still be hurt cause the leaver left the loser lost in time

And chances are you'll find yourself another who gives you more than I could ever do buy you clothes and fur and take you round the world

Its what I would have done if chances had not played an hand with me and you

kayaky

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Cell Phones Selfish

Simply speaking's so supernatural sometimes

Upon the Sea of sound and fury

So important, so accessible and so alive

Connected to the collective, connected to the hive dancing bytes and pixels mix messages with noise voice mail misinforms us, there's conversations to avoid

Cell phone selfish and day- minding foolish

as organized as attached as busy keeping busy

could tackle any task

Waiting for someone or thing to ring yank their chains

chomping at the bit are we to communicate again

words never reach them from the bedside -

drowned out by vibrations or beeps as loud as a shout

You'regetting this

and just getting that

while ignored, you've forgotten

the one before you sat

I'll talk to you without the sky between us

I'll touch your face again my dear

There'll be no telephones to defeat trust

When I look into your eyes

We're cell phone foolish,

cell phone selfish fools

connected but protected

from a simple human touch

A face to face encounter

that will always mean so much

kayaky

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Angel's Heart

Who saw you fall sweet angel

when the arrow pierced your heart

Launched quickly from the darkness

but it surely found its mark

A senseless barb of poison

had been calculated there

to find the source of dreams and hope

that danced as light as air

He knows too well what makes you cry

and aims from his deep despair

To snatch those moments from your grasp

just when you start to care

And he would sit and watch you fall

not rush to catch your heart

or save it from the venom

which is breaking it apart.

But who wouldn't try and save your soul

and see your heart released

And who wouldn't cry and reach for you

that saw that hurtful deed.

Who saw that arrow - watched its flight

and saw it piercing you

could not stand idly watching -

that'is something He would do.

Love lost is found

not with the one who promised it was true

But with another

Who hearing words

found no ugliness in you

Instead its beauty that was found

and dwell's in angel's heart

so Collect your hope and dream again

tomorrow a new love will start

kayaky

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Ancient sky

Soaring High on darkened wings through red rimmed sky at dusk

Far down below are city lights where cars and strangers fuss

A sea of life that fits so well in palm of outstretched hand

But nothings changed since leaving ground no reach brings touch again

Night comes on with grey and black deserted by the sun

Gitchee Gumee looms large and cold and slivered moon is hung

Fade away to cerulean where sibling crescents glow old as time

one burns one shines through flight we've come to know

Circles upon circles A patagonian scape magical

and perhaps unseen except in ancient days

In mystic Machu Pichou Up where the world seemed small

and clouded by a coca haze Were humbled by it all

But nows the time to be alive speed makes the sunset last

just chase the sky forever and this sunset shall not pass

kayaky

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Email in a Bottle

A message drifts ashore one day which some ancient rhyme had thrown away and flotsam found was read that way, as if its words had worth to say by hapless soul beachcomber who, beside the surf saw what they knew to be a text with meaning true - was quickly read then misconstrued

The message was in point of fact a harmless jest and artifact not meant to sway or mental test but prompt a laugh within one's breast alas the plebe who found it where read words and meaning never there and changed his life upon that dare between the lines au bord du mer

Packed up his house and left his friends in search of treasures round the bend not knowing that beneath his quest lay foundations not of stone but jest then left behind a sorry mess in vain it seemed but strange at best would find by chance a treasure chest of wisdom that escaped his grasp

For having searched and strived for gold discovered back in days of old the treasures that he thought he sought were really what he had - then lost so back he went and claimed anew his rightful home and family too who welcomed back that sheepish plebe then tossed his rhyme back to the sea

The moral of this simple tale is caution when receiving mail a message that would change one's life and throw to waste one's friends or wife For jetsam is not sage advice lest first its weighed then set aside to be confirmed in passing time, then careful be if one confides

kayaky

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Loving Losing Leaving

Seems you found yourself another You don't come round here no more So I'm wondering now all by myself what my future has in store

Well I remember how we used to laugh Sure we must have had good times so we won't be having fun together But could we have fun if we still tried

Something good has gone amiss here I don't usually have self doubts and I looked around inside me wondering what its all about

being dumped for some one else

Left behind by one you loved for more than just two arms to hold them

or something else put them above *

Its just the same old sad sad story, thats been told a million times

Somebody's heart is overflowing

While someone's heart is broke inside *